Saturday, January 21, 2012

Funny Source Code Comments


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/**
* For the brave souls who get this far: You are the chosen ones,
* the valiant knights of programming who toil away, without rest,
* fixing our most awful code. To you, true saviors, kings of men,
* I say this: never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down,
* never gonna run around and desert you. Never gonna make you cry,
* never gonna say goodbye. Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you.
*/



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// 
// Dear maintainer:
// 
// Once you are done trying to 'optimize' this routine,
// and have realized what a terrible mistake that was,
// please increment the following counter as a warning
// to the next guy:
// 
// total_hours_wasted_here = 16
//
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// TODO: Fix this. Fix what?
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// no comments for you
// it was hard to write
// so it should be hard to read
// I will give you two of my seventy-two virgins if you can fix this.

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options.BatchSize = 300; //Madness? THIS IS SPARTA!
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// I am not responsible of this code.
// They made me write it, against my will.
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//Dear future me. Please forgive me.
//I can't even begin to express how sorry I am.
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double penetration; // ouch
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# To understand recursion, see the bottom of this file.
At the bottom file:
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# To understand recursion, see the top of this file.
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//I am not sure why this works but it fixes the problem.
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//somedev1 - 6/7/02 Adding temporary tracking of Logic screen
//somedev2 - 5/22/07 Temporary my ass
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/*
 * You may think you know what the following code does.
 * But you dont. Trust me
 * Fiddle with me, and youll spend many a sleppless
 * night cursing the moment you thought you be clever 
 * enough to "optimize" the code below.
 * Now close this file and go play with something else.
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// drunk, fix later
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// Magic. Do not touch.

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Exception up = new Exception("Something is really wrong.");
throw up; //ha ha
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//When I wrote this, only God and I understood that I was doing
//Now, God only knows
// if i ever see this again i'm going to start bringing guns to work
/*
 * OK; before you read the following code know what I am trying to do.
 * I needed to get the list of child catagories from the root node so that
 * the root node didn't appear in the selection box. But for some stupid
 * fucking reason the stupid fucking DBA wont let me access the items using
 * indices and I instead have to use their stupid fucking Iterator
 * implementation. So there.
 */
$firstList = $this->getRootNode()->getChildren();
foreach ($firstList as $node)
{
    $nodes = $node->getChildren();
    break;                // wtf?
}

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