Funny Source Code Comments

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/**
* For the brave souls who get this far: You are the chosen ones,
* the valiant knights of programming who toil away, without rest,
* fixing our most awful code. To you, true saviors, kings of men,
* I say this: never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down,
* never gonna run around and desert you. Never gonna make you cry,
* never gonna say goodbye. Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you.
*/

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// // Dear maintainer: // // Once you are done trying to 'optimize' this routine, // and have realized what a terrible mistake that was, // please increment the following counter as a warning // to the next guy: // // total_hours_wasted_here = 16 //

1	// TODO: Fix this. Fix what?

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// no comments for you // it was hard to write // so it should be hard to read

// I will give you two of my seventy-two virgins if you can fix this.

1	options.BatchSize = 300; //Madness? THIS IS SPARTA!

1 2	// I am not responsible of this code. // They made me write it, against my will.

1 2	//Dear future me. Please forgive me. //I can't even begin to express how sorry I am.

1	double penetration; // ouch

1	# To understand recursion, see the bottom of this file.

At the bottom file:

1	# To understand recursion, see the top of this file.

1	//I am not sure why this works but it fixes the problem.

1 2	//somedev1 - 6/7/02 Adding temporary tracking of Logic screen //somedev2 - 5/22/07 Temporary my ass

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/* * You may think you know what the following code does. * But you dont. Trust me * Fiddle with me, and youll spend many a sleppless * night cursing the moment you thought you be clever * enough to "optimize" the code below. * Now close this file and go play with something else.

1	// drunk, fix later

1	// Magic. Do not touch.

1 2	Exception up = new Exception("Something is really wrong."); throw up; //ha ha

1 2	//When I wrote this, only God and I understood that I was doing //Now, God only knows

// if i ever see this again i'm going to start bringing guns to work

/*
 * OK; before you read the following code know what I am trying to do.
 * I needed to get the list of child catagories from the root node so that
 * the root node didn't appear in the selection box. But for some stupid
 * fucking reason the stupid fucking DBA wont let me access the items using
 * indices and I instead have to use their stupid fucking Iterator
 * implementation. So there.
 */
$firstList = $this->getRootNode()->getChildren();
foreach ($firstList as $node)
{
    $nodes = $node->getChildren();
    break;                // wtf?
}

-o || Programmer || o-

To be a good programmer is difficult and noble. The hardest part of making real a collective vision of a software project is dealing with one’s co-workers and customers. Writing computer programs is important and takes great intelligence and skill. But it is really child's play compared to everything else that a good programmer must do to make a software system that succeeds for both the customer and myriad colleagues for whom she is partially responsible. In this post I attempt to summarize as concisely as possible those things that I wish someone had explained to me when I started developing interest in developing programs.

I have being programming since my school days. I remember writing small programs in BASIC(for those how don’t know BASIC is ) and LOGO(it was a meant to draw different geometrical shapes using commands) . But actually later I came to know LOGO was more than that. I remember very interesting thing about LOGO, the cursor which we see now a days in LOGO there used to be a triangle which was called as “Turtle”. Anyways even in those days that programs would seem more difficult. I read an interesting article about programmers which I would like to share…

Signs that you shouldn't be a programmer:
The following may not have any remedies if you still suffer from them after taking a programming course in school, so you will stand a better chance of advancing your career by choosing another profession.

1. Inability to determine the order of program execution
Symptoms

a = 5
b = 10
a = b

print a

1. You look at the code above and aren't sure what number gets printed out at the end

Alternative careers
1. Electrician
2. Plumber
3. Architect
4. Civil engineer

LOL.. so all "wanna be" programmers would now have decided an Alternative careers. So in my upcomming post i am going to start a "How to" guide for programmers right from debugging a code to performance fix and lots more...